It's Good to be a Man

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Where we stand on…

What follows is a list of all today’s major controverted issues in sexuality, and where we stand on them. The order is as alphabetical as we could make it.


What should you call us?

We reject the terms complementarian and red pill because there are too many problems with the doctrines typically bundled under those labels. We accept the term patriarchal, in the sense that Christianity is patriarchal; it is a religion of the patriarchs—Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—who serve as models for all Christian men to represent the rule of their Father over those given into their care (cf. Eph 3:15). However, we are cautious with this term because it is associated with much false practice and teaching in some Christian circles, and because it is not exhaustive in describing our own position.

The best term we have for describing our view is gendered piety—i.e., the unique duties to God and man entailed by living out one’s sex.


In the tables below, if we list an item as being “for” or “against” plus “it depends,” it’s because we recognize exceptions but believe the creation pattern is strong enough that we can establish a general rule. If we list both “for” and “against,” it’s because we recognize legitimate and illegitimate forms. Entries with arrows next to them can be expanded for more information.

Sexuality & societyForAgainstIt depends
Chivalry The code of conduct that regards women as deserving honor because they are superior to men, rather than because they are weaker vessels.
Contraceptives Abortifacient contraceptives, including the pill, are intrinsically wrong, as is a pattern of deliberate unfruitfulness in marriage. However, not all contraceptive methods are intrinsically wrong, and contraception can be a blessing when used wisely. See also If marriages should be fruitful, can we use contraceptives?
Divorce and remarriage We believe that God always prefers the marriage covenant be restored rather than dissolved. However, in cases of adultery and abandonment, divorce and remarriage are permissible.
LGBTQ+ as sexual orientations or gender identities
Marital corporal punishment This is the view that husbands may physically discipline their wives as they do their children. Bnonn publicly considered this question in late 2018 to early 2019, but, like Michael, came to firmly reject it. See his statement on his blog.
No-fault divorce
Patriarchy We define this generally as the principle that God’s rule is to be represented exclusively through men in the civil, domestic, and ecclesiastical spheres.
Polygamy
Porn
Soulmates/ONEitis This is the view that there is only one romantic partner who is right for you.
Women’s rolesForAgainstIt depends
Civil rulers For a helpful summary of our reasoning, see 5 clear reasons Christians should oppose female heads of state on Bnonn’s blog.
Deaconesses In cases where deacons are merely recognized servants in a congregation, deaconesses may be permissible; in cases where deacons are authorities in a congregation, we are against women in this role.
Military & law-enforcement See Why a woman bearing the sword is an abomination to the Lord on Bnonn’s blog.
Pastors/elders
Preachers to any sex See 7 reasons women may not preach, period for a comprehensive overview.
Teachers of doctrine to men
Teachers of doctrine to women and children We are for this in natural social relations between older and younger women, but against it in formal church settings.
Workers in another man’s household (careerism) The biblical pattern indicates that this is not ideal, and in the modern day is often pursued sinfully. For unmarried women with no other good options, this is certainly permissible; it is also often necessary for married women to support their own houses for various reasons (especially the loss of general household productivity in the world).
Workers in their own man’s household (helpmeets) Working in the household does not imply working exclusively in the home.

Have we missed something you want to know? Ask us.

Last updated Wednesday, May 20, 2020.

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